Screen Shot 2014-10-08 at 10.12.43 PMMy mother (amongst many other women) swooned over the memories of their pregnancies, highlighting all of the cute and fuzzy details like feeling the baby move and watching your belly grow. HOWEVER, she failed to mention what really happens in these 9 (really 10) months of baby making.

Check out the 10 things people fail to tell you about what really goes on during your pregnancy. Ladies, do any of these resonate with you?

1. Orgasms in Your Sleep:

During the first trimester it seems pretty common to be jolted awake by an intense orgasm. Why? Who the hell knows. I blame it, along with every other pregnancy symptom, on hormones. The whole thing seemed even stranger due to the fact that I had zero daytime sex drive during my first trimester, yet when I went to sleep, apparently I was like a pre-pubescent, horny school boy. Seems terribly unfair, especially for my husband.

2. Forty Weeks is 10 Months, Folks:

They lied to you. Maybe 9 months sounds more manageable than 10. Maybe the thought of being pregnant for just two months short of a year is enough to put some women over the edge. But yes, 40 weeks is actually 10 months. Granted, you are not pregnant those first two or so weeks, (they start counting from the first day of your last period – something I also didn’t know) it’s still all very confusing and a bit misleading. But on the bright side, it gives you 10 months to get your life in order and come to terms with the fact that, soon, there will be a tiny human being in your possession whose sole survival depends on you. Yes, it takes almost a year to fully let that sink in.

3. The “To-Do” List is Minimal:

For those of you who are married, remember those moments just after getting engaged when you cried, called your mom, your sisters/best friends, and then registered for  You set a rough wedding date and instantly a “To-Do” list of about 1,564 items popped up on your screen. And immediately you had a dozen urgent, over-due action items. Well, surprisingly, there is more “to-do” when planning a party than when bringing a human being into the world. Who knew? Yes, the “to-do” list is minimal. Sure, there are a ton of baby items you will need to buy down the line, but for the first 24 weeks or so, the list is pretty simple: eat well, see your doctor monthly, exercise, etc. The first trimester, I was antsy for things to do.  Even a little disappointed that it was too early to start the registry or begin designing the nursery.  But really, it’s a good time to focus on yourself, your health, and praying to God that nausea doesn’t hit at the worst possible moment.

4. Hunger Will Take Control of Your Life:

All I can say is that it’s not like regular hunger, especially in the first trimester. Not only did I threaten to “eat my husband’s face off” (sometimes with bbq sauce) on numerous occasions, but the pain of hunger during pregnancy is downright frightening. You feel light-headed, nauseous, like you’re dying, I even cried once. A few times panic would set in if I felt I had gone too long without food. But the payoff is blissful – eating will feel almost as good as those nightly orgasms.

5. Everything on Your Body Changes:

This shouldn’t frighten you. I found that many of the changes were minimal and only I could really notice them, but literallyeverything goes through some degree of change. From the overgrown hair on your head all the way down to your growing feet (yes, they can grow a half size during pregnancy).  Some of the most surprising changes I experienced? A constant bad taste in my mouth, dark patches of skin on my armpits, indigestion 6 hours after eating a meal, oily nipples (yes, you read correctly), just to name a few…

6. It Can Be Painful:

As I round week 27, I have yet to feel the painful kicks to the ribs that many women complain about. But there is another pain that was never explained to me. Your uterus is stretching (at an alarming rate) and those ligaments that hold it up are getting stretched, too. And it hurts. A lot. The pain is usually around your bikini line area and for me it was both a shooting, stabbing pain and dull, aching pain – and it’s completely normal. The first time I felt it I thought my appendix must have burst (I can be a bit dramatic), but was quickly reassured that it was just “Round Ligament Pain and nothing more”.  As if the thought of my ligaments stretching beyond their normal capacity wasn’t enough.

7. …the Entire Time:

While we are on the topic of pain, my breasts have been sore from week 4 to today (26.5 weeks). Like, don’t-even-look-at-them sore. From unexpected tingling sensations that run down the sides of them, to stinging pain in my nipples, and all-over soreness. Breast soreness, I expected, but for 22.5 weeks and counting, that’s new news to me.

8. Farting in Public:

I’ll keep this short. Expect to fart in public a few times during your pregnancy. My first time was with my husband while looking at wall clocks in Target. There is no warning; there is no control. Hilarious maybe for your partner, terrifying for you.

9. Crying:

Yes, we all know pregnant women are emotional and weepy, but I always thought it would be triggered by something, well,emotional. Naturally, right? The starving children commercials on TV, the news of a friend’s devastating breakup, your husband drinking the last of your orange juice. But no, not so. In the first trimester I broke out in tears while making scrambled eggs. I’m talking, need-to-take-a-moment-and-sit-down level of crying. I fear this will never go away. We used to laugh at my mother for crying at Hallmark commercials, and now I get it. They are so damn moving.

10. Three Hundred Extra Calories is All You Need:

I was shocked by this. I knew the whole “eating for two” myth was just that, a myth, but 300 extra calories a day seems shockingly low.  Apparently, that’s all you need during pregnancy. I get that from the bottle of orange juice I drink a day.  I, like most pregnant women I imagine, have taken this advice with a grain of salt. When I’m hungry, I eat.  And I dare someone to tell me otherwise.

Original Article: WorldLifestyle



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