Screen Shot 2014-09-10 at 11.28.51 AMThe good guy has come to the realization that he doesn’t have to be a douche bag to get the woman of his dreams. He acknowledges the fact that woman are human beings who deserve respect and he’s willing to give it to her, granted she shows that she deserves it. He’s a man with a mission and is honestly looking for someone who can see him for what is he and is willing to give him a chance.

Unfortunately, the good guy gets a bad wrap. He’s viewed as being too polite, too “soft” and tends to be less of a man because he doesn’t lead with his machismo. Women stray from the good guy because of the lack of challenge… it’s just too easy. Leaving the good guy on the sideline while they philander with the bay boy who makes like “more interesting”.

Well ladies, I’ve had my share of bad boys and have come to the conclusion that they are exactly that, grown boys who are just…bad. I had to come to the realization that in order to have the life that I envisioned, I had to be with a man that could appreciate me, not be intimidated by my ambition, and one who didn’t require his ego to be pet on a daily basis. So for me, dating the “good guy” made complete sense.

Here’s 5 reasons why you should date the good guy, hey it’s worth a try!

1) He’s interested in who you are: Good guys have been put on the sidelines for way too long. They usually aren’t overly aggressive in their pursuit but when engaged, they are actually interested in getting to know who you are. They’re actually interested! You can tell through their conversation, the questions they ask and the followups to those questions. If he’s asking, he’s interested in knowing you and building more than just the basic.

2) He takes life seriously: Because the good guy has spent much of his time pursuing other things in life because of being “swerved” due to his good guy status, he has time to indulge in the finer things in life. He may be well traveled, read a lot of books, or even have an adventurous side to him. He’s probably focused on his life, career and future a little more than the bad boy, because he has had some time to think about it. If he finds those qualities in you, there’s a better chance you can end up in a relationship that is serious.

3) He appreciates the things that matter: He appreciates you! He will love you endlessly. Period. He understands that beauty if fleeing and at the end, its your personality and love that will keep things going. So he focuses on that. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate your looks, he’s still a man.

4) It’s less work: Some women have adopted the narrative that if a relationship isn’t full of challenges and turmoil, it isn’t a real relationship. That’s a complete lie! Don’t be that girl. Relationships take work, whether it be with the good guy or not. But dating a man who is serious about building something that is lasting and real requires less work than trying to change a man, or convince a man that you are the woman for him, which is often the leading tasks of a woman who date the bad boy. Personally, it’s a waste of time for me. You shouldn’t have to convince or go above and beyond to prove your worthiness. The good guy, sees that right away.

5) You can experience something different: Imagine a life where you can put your energy into discovering life together in a way that is adventurous and fulfilling. With the absence of trying to form someone into the man you want, you can spend your days living and loving the man you need! It may feel weird, but dating the good guy comes with their own challenges and may promote growth in both partners because it requires you to create a life that is fitting for the both of you, sans the drama.

My advice…

When dating the good guy:

  1. Be honest! Express what you need and what you can and can not work with in this budding relationship
  2. Respect yourself and him at all times
  3. Remain focused and keep the doors of communication open

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