Being with the right person can catapult you into your purpose in a way that you alone could not achieve. Although we all have the ability to reach our greatest potential with hard work, faith, and God… having a great partner in your life can make the journey worthwhile!
On the flip side, being with the wrong person can (literally) ruin your life! As we close our January Mental Health Monday series, we want to focus on how being with the wrong person, could land you in a deep episode of depression, here’s are a few tell-tale signs:
You no longer feel like yourself. Depression can make you feel as if you are wearing a mask. It clouds your thoughts and makes everything take on a very dark shade of hopelessness and pain. When you’re in a relationship that is causing you to fall into a depression, you may no longer feel the way you used to feel. You may even begin to feel as if you are losing yourself. You stop caring about how you look, about being with your friends and may become consumed with fixing the relationship to the point of driving yourself into a deep depression.
Your partner is depressed. Depression is contagious! When someone is depressed, he/she tends to see the world — including you — through dark glasses. If you adopt your partner’s view, you’ll sink down emotionally, too.
Your partner is irritable. Anger spreads toxic negative energy. This toxicity can induce depression in the receiver of anger. Anger is disturbing and unpleasant to witness even for on-lookers. For direct recipients of anger, the toxicity is even more so.
There’s no room for your emotions. If you’re in a relationship where you aren’t able to express yourself and have those emotions received in a positive or healthy way, you may find yourself harboring negative feelings, and that can be very toxic.
You feel dominated. Depression can emerge when you feel smaller and less powerful than the person you’re interacting with. Not all power differences create depression. In love relationships between two adults, shared power is healthier.
Your partner doesn’t do his/her share. A partner who takes an active role in the project of living and loving together is a joy to partner with. Whether he scrambles eggs for the two of you in the morning or scurries around with a quick clean-up before visitors arrive, helping is loving. By contrast, a partner who does not do his part is passively provocative. The irritation or anger you will feel in response signals that you’re not getting a full adult partner.
If you don’t want your relationship to be making you depressed (and who would?), then pay attention to these signs. Discuss them with your partner, but do so carefully. Complaints and criticism might invite your partner to either feel depressed themselves or fight back. So use your best tactful communication to agree on new rules for being together, rules that replace darkness with sunshine for both of you.