“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
I never felt like a friend to anyone I dated until I met my fiancé. We spent the beginning of our relationship as friends…no strings attached. We weren’t intimate, we didn’t talk about dating each other, but we did speak about our dating lives prior to meeting. We had moments of reflection, laughs and shared stories about our personal lives. Although we always knew that this was apart of the pre-dating phase, we both understood that it was important to be friends first.
Friendships are built on respect and trust. Two things that are imperative to a romantic relationship. Starting a romantic relationship with a solid foundation grounded in friendship will frame your interactions as a couple. It will give your relationship an added benefit and will be grounded in respect and trust similar to that of you and your best friends. Being able to be best friends with your partner will indeed make your relationship more fulfilling.
So why is it so important?
- You get to know your spouse really well
- You see them first as your friend and can relate to them in a way that is comfortable and without the stipulation of a romantic relationship
- You genuinely can enjoy their company
- You trust them
- You respect them as people, just as you would your best friend
- You feel closer to them because there is an added level to your relationship
- It prevents you from hurting them
- You value the friendship thus making it harder for your romantic relationship to be dispensable
- It’s really fun! You get to let lose and be yourself just as you would with your girlfriends
- The love runs deep! The thought of losing your partner is as painful as watching your most valued and precious friendship crumble before you.
When first meeting a potential mate, focus on building a friendship as this will ensure that your relationship will be something worth investing in for the long run.