In an age where everyone has perfect relationships, (at least from the looks of their social media pages), it’s hard to accept when things start to go wrong!
It’s as if your life is going nowhere fast! So instead of patting yourself on the back for overcoming a variety of adversities, you retreat. You go into a shell and hide from the world. You think you’re a failure because your relationship isn’t perfect, things didn’t work out as planned, or because you’re single. You spend days, hours, even months comparing yourself to the plethora of happy pictures and love quotes that have barraged your timeline.
If nobody has taken the time to pull you out of this rut, let me be the first to say… “Stop beating yourself up because your struggle will become your testimony!”
1. It builds character
All that you’re going through, or have been through will change the way you think, the way you approach new relationships, and develop a part of yourself that will forever be strong and full of wisdom. Remember, it’s not the fact that you’re in a season of change, it’s what’s happening to you during this season that will determine how everything works out. Use this time as an opportunity to grow!
2. You will learn to trust yourself more.
I remember battling with the decision to cancel my wedding. During this time, I had so many conflicting feelings and was so afraid of how everyone would receive the news that I was crippled with fear, shame, and doubt. I had been in a relationship that turned into complete chaos and had become so unmanageable, that the thought of marrying someone who was so broken and out of control of his life scared the hell out of me! I took this time in my life to trust my gut! It’s not very often that your gut lies to you, and it was screaming for me to listen. So I did! I called off my wedding and faced the storm that followed, and I must say, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Facing such a difficult decision forced me to really have faith and trust that things would work themselves out. Even it meant that I was no longer getting married, and the world now knew that my “perfect” relationship was not so perfect after all. It was certainly a hard pill to swallow, but what I learned about my strength and about the people in my life was invaluable!
If you’re facing a tough situation, trust yourself, your body, and God enough to know that the right decision will be made.
3. When it’s time, you’ll be ready.
Timing is everything! If something isn’t happening for you, it’s probably because it isn’t time for this to be happening to your life. Trust the timing of events in your life, and as mentioned before, make use of the time you have while you’re waiting because when it’s time, you want to be ready, and there will be no confusion about if it’s the right relationship to pursue.
To that end, stay positive and adjust the way you’re viewing your current struggles with relationships. Once you’re able to understanding that these experiences are simply adding to your testimony, you’ll learn to appreciate the moments where you get to stop, reflect and rebuild.
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